We have been married more than 38 years and have four children. We have 7 grandchildren and one on the way. Both our daughters have Rae as their middle name and two of our granddaughters as well..... and one has a form of Rae as Raelynn. The grandkids call him Danigh....or Dan for short. Our first grandchild named us. I am Baba and Ray is Danigh. Danigh is a combination of night night, which is what she first called him because he always goes to bed earlier than everyone else since he gets up early....and Dad, which she heard her dad calling him. That somehow became Danigh. The children and grandchildren all adore him....as do I.
I am praying that God gives Ray back to me, as He did, December 15, 1989. I got a phone call just after 7 am that Ray had been hit by a train and they did not expect him to make it and thought his head injuries were severe. To make a very long story, short, I brought him home that day. His injuries were not so major, after all. Since that time we have celebrated Thank God Daddy Didn't Get Killed By the Train Day every 12-15. It was very poignant for me that we had our first appointment with the oncologist on that day 2009. I actually had figured out what was wrong with Ray around the 9th. Since I am a professional worrier, I tried to dismiss what I had put together, but stayed up all night every night researching and alternately panicking and praying.
Now the docs have basically given us no hope (but they aren't in the hope business.) He has non small cell stage IV lung cancer metasticized to the brain (numerous tumors) and 4cm masses on his adrenals. They say it is too late for surgery though my research doesn't confirm that .....but I am not a fan of surgery either.
We are home. He is undergoing radiation for his brain tumors but I really wish we were not going that route....but I think Ray thinks it is necessary. I appreciate any input anyone has on that or any other topic relating to healing cancer.
In a moment my life and my priorities changed drastically. Nothing will ever be the same.
I get scared and discouraged and words like "terminal" and "dead man walking" hurt more than I can express but I don't have time to feel that. No matter what, I am not giving up. I am asking God for a miraculous healing. If not, then one that we seek out. I am trying to keep Ray alive long enough for us to find what will work for him. Giving up is just not an option. Ray is worth every ounce of effort I can muster.
Thanks for caring. Your prayers are so appreciated.....as well as your financial contributions. This is very difficult for me to even accept, but I have to say yes...for Ray.
Love, Carla
I am praying for you, Carla. I love you and am here however I can help. I dreamt I won a lot of money and was able to help you. I thought it was neat that you were what I was thinking about when the money was awarded. :-) Ray is in great hands with God and you.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the radiation "treatments". My mom had 37 treatments to her head, targeting a lymph node next to her brainstem. She didn't get too sick from that series, but the physical damage to her face, swallowing & speech is awful.
ReplyDeleteShe also had 3 treatments to her lungs. And those nearly killed her. They were LARGE doses, administered over 2 weeks, and she couldn't get out of bed for nearly a month. It was terrible. Her PCP, who had nothing to do with the cancer treatments, told us that his wife nearly died following lung radiation also. It's evil stuff.
BUT. The radiation slowed the growth of the tumors, allowing the diet and supplements to have a chance to help her heal. If she had not received the radiation, the tumors would have grown too large for her body to withstand. At least, that's my non-professional opinion.
So now, she gets kefir, turmeric, fish oil, & multi-vitamins daily, to support her immune system. I cook up bone broth to give her. I tried juicing, to get those raw nutrients in her, but her digestion didn't appreciate that at all. She's not open to many alternative things, so I just do what I can.
What I've come to accept is that I can only do so much. There is no silver bullet for this. It is one moment at a time of just hanging on.
Sending prayers to you and Ray, every day.
♥
Sam
Thank you, Carla, for posting and letting us see a bit of your history and immense love with Ray. I am praying with you for a miracle of healing. Love and blessings to you and your beautiful fammily.
ReplyDelete~Love, Marie
Aunt Carla & Uncle Ray~
ReplyDeleteNot only is Uncle Ray undoubtedly the sweetest husband....HE IS THE SWEETEST UNCLE!!! My heart aches for you both and your growing family. You will all be in my prayers. If love could be the miracle cure...Uncle Ray would be healed today. Not only did he generously give love, but those who know him could not help but love him immensely. Please stay away from the land of "If Onlies" it is a tool of the devil to bring doubt and despair into your life. You both deserve better than that. No matter what happens (and I sincerely pray for a miracle) you have a love for each other that millions of people will never know. What glory! Glory to God that He has used this event to help me find you after so many years apart. Imagine how many more blessings are in store for you and those who have the privilege of knowing you. Of all people in my life...the love from the Ray Hartley clan has always been strong and true, even with years of absence. It has been a precious gift that I pray continues to bless those around you.